How to Go from Dating to Courtship

Let’s admit, single women everywhere are looking for something different, something fresh, something new in the dating world.  F* boys are appearing at astounding rates and so are the invitations for Netflix and Chill.  Here’s a few tips on how to get men to properly court you from the first moment he lays eyes on you.

1.      Let him make the first move. 

Meaning, he should approach you, ask you if you are seeing someone, etc. Not the other way around.  As a woman, making the first move sets yourself up for disappointment or heartache right out the gate. If a guy is not approaching you, or asking you out, it’s very possible he is not available or simply not interested. He could be dealing with baby momma drama, or married, focused on his career, who knows. Yes, he may be flattered by you being bold and approaching him, but the only way to tell if he is truly interested and is willing to court you, is if he makes the first move.

2.      Let him call you, and keep calls/texts short and sweet.

When you first meet him, he should ask for your number.  Don’t even accept his.  This way, you will always know that he was interested in you from jump and that he is making the effort to contact you and get to know you. Don’t give him too much too soon either. Make sure your conversations and text messages are short and sweet, about 10 minutes for a call. He will be so intrigued by you that he’ll have to ask you out to learn more.

3.      Let him ask you out, and plan the date.

If a man is truly interested in you, he should have no problem taking you out for a nice dinner or two so that the two of you can get to know each other.  But let’s face it, dating can get expensive for men.  So, although I don’t advise you to start going dutch or paying for dates in the beginning, I do recommend that you let HIM plan the date. Let him pick the restaurant, or plan an afternoon trip to the museum followed by a nice picnic in the park.  He will have control over his wallet, you will be surprised and impressed by his creativity (not even realizing that he might’ve been in between paydays).

4.      Show your appreciation for everything that he does…I mean everything.

This is what I call the “pump up” method. If he opens the door for you, or pull out the chair at the table, smile and say thank you each time. When he treats you to a lovely date, tell him how much you enjoyed the ambiance at the restaurant, how good the food was, and most importantly, for great company.  If he sends flowers to your job, tell him how beautiful they are and how all the girls in the office are jealous.  I know it sounds extra, but when you do this, you ignite the competitive drive that all men have.  They want to know that they are winning.  Show them that they are!

5.      Hold off on sex for as long as possible.  I’m an advocate for waiting until marriage but I do realize that not all women are there yet. I get it. I wasn’t always there either. However, reality is, there is something about sex that tends to slow courtship down. In some cases, it puts it to a complete halt. A good man is not simply after your goods in the first place, but at least holding off for a while will weed out the men who are.  They will simply stop pursuing you if they aren’t getting any.  That’s not the man you want to spend your time with, let alone marry.   Big boys, have no problem doing things to gain a women’s attention, her time and eventually her heart. 

This is courtship ladies. Grown men aren’t afraid of it, and you shouldn’t either. Let him lead.